How to ask a partner/s to use a condom

So you have decided you want to start using condoms with a sexual partner. Firstly, it is great that you have decided to use condoms and want to take control of your health, whatever the reason be, whether to prevent pregnancy/STIs or just to make you feel more comfortable.

Now that you have come to this decision you may be wondering “…how do I ask my partner/s to use a condom…do I just ask?”

In short, there’s no ‘right’ or ‘wrong’ way to ask.

It does not matter how long you have been having sex with someone without a condom, you are allowed to change your mind and decide to use condoms. You do not even have to give any reason as to why, or why not. However, some people may feel more comfortable telling their partners why that want to use condoms e.g. it would make me feel more comfortable and relaxed.

Have a look at our first blog “what to do if your partner/s does not want to use a condom” if you are worried they will say no.

Here are a couple of examples of how you might like to ask.

• “Hey, so I’ve been thinking…can we use condoms from now on?”
• “I got you a present!” *pulls out a pack of condoms*
• “I’d feel more comfortable if we used these”
• “We (or I) haven’t been tested in a while, I’d like to use condoms”
• “Condoms help me to relax and get into the mood because I’m not worrying about pregnancy or STIs”
• “The pill isn’t 100% effective in preventing pregnancy, so I’d like to use these too”

At the end of the day all partners have to be comfortable with what’s going on. If you are uncomfortable having sex without a condom and despite you asking, your partner/s continue to refuse. It may be time to think about what you need from a partner and whether or not those needs are being met.

If you have any questions about contraception, condom use or anything else sex related you can contact the Sexual Health Helpline.